Some background: I tend to eat lunch in the office canteen with a bunch of people, one of whom is Thomas. Now, I'm dubious about bad-mouthing someone I work with behind their back in a public forum, so I will restrict my criticism to his eating habits. For the past couple of weeks, he has been bringing in plums as part of his packed lunch, and watching him eat them is... grotesque. Picture the alien from Alien punching that little inner bitey tongue-tube thing into a soft fruit, then masticating its victim with its primary jaws as the juice dribbles down its chin.
So today, when Thomas pulled out the ill-fated fruit, I muttered 'Dear God' under my breath. He knew full well why, as did everyone else at the table, but insisted on asking what I was muttering about. I explained that I had simply been praying, and, almost as an after-thought, actually fired a quick prayer up (or down, or sideways) to Eris (goddess of discord and chaos, but more fun than that makes Her sound). Imagine my joy as Thomas bit into the plum, contorted his face (in different way to usual) and declared it rotten. The same with the other plum. I muttered something about the 'power of prayer', and gave thanks to Eris; and I'd like to think that the unfocussed but sincere gratitude of our dining companions, and perhaps even the plums themselves, was pleasing to Her. You've got to respect a goddess like that, haven't you?
Autobiographical Fact #2:
I have a proper girlfriend, and everything. Her name is Jo. She is tiny, enthusiastic, and frankly implausibly fond of me. My assumption is that she will snap out of it at some point, but I might as well make the most of it while it lasts...