My tweets

Mon, 13:55: RT @ryanqnorth: "I got an Android on Cyber Monday" is a sentence our grandparents all assumed we'd be saying by now, but for much radder re…
Mon, 18:06: RT @SICKOFWOLVES: OUR NATIONAL BIRD IS KNOWN FOR CONSUMING SO MUCH SCAVENGED MEAT THAT IT CANT FLY SO WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS ENDING COMING
Mon, 21:03: I had a productive morning. A poll of the household was clear that the most important things for me to produce were… https://t.co/eakio6MNbq
Mon, 21:28: RT @AlexisCoe: 🦈 🚨There may be sharks alive today that were born before Christopher Columbus!!! 🚨🦈https://t.co/6Dix7lv9OQ
Mon, 21:39: RT @cham_twt: millennial internet humor is so intertextual like sometimes this one joke with 10K+ RTs won't make sense unless you understan…
Mon, 21:45: RT @schroduck: If you only read one thing about the royals today, make it this: Queen Victoria's daughter Alice campaigned for women's heal…
Mon, 21:54: RT @meakoopa: "well almost time to open my new dinosaur amusement park" "obviously the first guest should be a bad-boy celebrity mathemati…
Mon, 22:00: RT @ryanqnorth: THE TRUE HISTORY OF BOSS KEYS https://t.co/FhkSlyY9EY https://t.co/6Zz0LOdgIx
Mon, 22:03: RT @ID_R_McGregor: Japanese Robot Sumo. I was aware of it, but had no idea it moved so fast. None of this footage has been sped up. htt…
Mon, 22:07: RT @jfruh: 2017's biggest surprise yet: melania is the best trump https://t.co/FsEsDzlcwK

Mon, 22:10: RT @motherboard: Happy Cyber Monday, here are the Worst Things for Sale https://t.co/PTxMq2xHkH
Mon, 22:45: RT @paulpod: From Private Eye, but so so this https://t.co/yDqcnT0LVi
Tue, 08:02: RT @gregtitus: Daughter: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Me: (rolling my eyes) because 7 ate 9. Daughter: But why did 7 do that? Me: Huh? Daughter:…
Tue, 08:02: RT @pedromics: #AcademicsWithCats https://t.co/e0dFwIunLY
Tue, 09:15: RT @manjusrii: 5yo: I am building a semi ominous vehicle out of cardboard Me: You mean semi autonomous 5yo: You don't understand my techn…
Tue, 09:36: This photography is *so* *perfectly* representative of size that I should be allowed to sue @marksandspencer for fa… https://t.co/ycvPMhy80C
Tue, 09:38: RT @ClickHole: Cosmo Has Apologized For Publishing Its Controversial ‘10 Ways To Drive A Neo-Nazi Wild In The Sack’ List https://t.co/nykFX…
Tue, 09:40: RT @AlishaRai: If you're pondering why Americans are so delighted by this Megan and Harry news, some possible reasons: 1) she's a successf…