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Further productivity tips

After my previous entry on how to work, in which I discovered that caffeine is a stimulant, I have made a new, even more controversial discovery. Loads of work to do, including writing lots of emails explaining hard things to gormless people? In my experience, the best way to prepare for this is by being slightly hung-over the day before, having a nice lunch, then skipping an evening meal in favor of chocolate and Pringles. Stay up until 3:30am with a bunch of degenerates, sleep for 4 hours, then spring out of bed and cycle 3 miles to work in the wind and rain. I can assure* you that after a cup of coffee and a shortbread finger, you'll be raring to go, and should get about 2000 words of highly technical email written by lunchtime. This ain't your mama's conventional wisdom!

I'm beginning to think that:
a) I have a magic metabolism that thrives on abuse
b) I am overstimulated and heading for an inevitable crash
Either way, I might as well make the most of it!

Current site: Indie Pop Cares A Lot. Need a good reason to give a few quid to the Oxfam tsunami relief fund? You're a soulless monster. But a soulless monster with a free CD, so it's all good.
Added bonus: I originally mistyped that as 'Indie Pope Cares A Lot'. I'm pretty sure that was me picking up on divine inspiration intended for the Vatican. Morrissey for Pope!

Roleplaying. I spend a few hours a week pretending to be someone short, foul-mouthed and amoral. It's escapist fantasy!

* No assurance is implied or intended.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 7th, 2005 02:09 pm (UTC)
Morrissey for Pope!

well, he should be okay with the celibacy.
Apr. 7th, 2005 02:38 pm (UTC)
Who'd'a' thunk it?
Caffeine plus insulin/sugar abuse allows ex-OUSFG president to be productive. What a strange concept.
Welcome back to the world of t... I seem to have forgotten what I was gonna say. It can't have bean important... ;-)
Apr. 7th, 2005 02:48 pm (UTC)
Re: Who'd'a' thunk it?
All these fine concepts are excellent until you find you have to manage *other people*. Once you found coffee a stimulant, an amusement, now it becomes a hyper-pressure stimulator. You find ordinary conversations with your team take on hideous in-depth meaning from nowhere and your life swiftly descends into a nightmare of emotional hide and seek. You turn to alcohol in the vain hope this will cure the emotional highs and lows, ebbs and flows but discoverer a dreadful angst descends upon you in the early morning, lasting until lunch when the need for a further pint of caffeine strikes you. By 6pm you crave the dissolution of alcohol before the angst drives you insane..... the cycle is only broken by a giant red wine binge each Friday, following which you sleep terribly and awake gnawing at your own toenails with a throbbing head before the dread of Monday starts to creep into your soul late that afternoon..... hmmmmm.... addiction, employees. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Apr. 7th, 2005 02:54 pm (UTC)
Re: Who'd'a' thunk it?
I can give up any time I want, man.
Apr. 7th, 2005 02:58 pm (UTC)
Re: Who'd'a' thunk it?
Excellent. Not that I'm knocking caffeine and red wine, but I just note that if you can avoid getting high on Employees too, that's a good thing as they're highly addictive and can send you insane. Or is that inane?
Apr. 7th, 2005 04:37 pm (UTC)
Morissey for pope
A moral choice at last.

I can't believe it took you this long to find all this out. I've been doing this for years. Still haven't discovered an end to how long I can keep running on empty.

There's a bit of encroaching craziness at day 5, but that's friday, and no-one's at their best then. Friday night/saturday morning you can crash. Saturday you feel shit, but (see friday). Sunday, back on the regime.

Some of your workmates are probably on the regime. It's not that uncommon.
Apr. 11th, 2005 03:54 pm (UTC)
Running on empty
I knew I could do it. I just hadn't realised that I could actually do my job whilst doing it. I guess my previous destruct-testing of this lifestyle was at university, and there were any number of reasons why I wasn't working then...
May. 25th, 2005 11:35 pm (UTC)
I'll definitely have to try to productivity through severe chemical abuse strategy.

It sort of reminds me of a pal of mine who suffered from severe headaches and then discovered that smoking copious amounts of opium was just the perfect thing for them -

"It doesn't make the headache go away, it just makes me not care about it anymore."

Anyway, I don't usually abuse drugs. If I can I try to abuse caffeine and oral sex; it works for me.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )


Cute overload
Drifting in and out of consciousness

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