Drifting in and out of consciousness (oxfordhacker) wrote,
Drifting in and out of consciousness

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(Belated) interview by autodidactic

1.) Naked in the snow or naked in the desert?
Snow, I think. I'm never very good in the sun at the best of times, and I hear that freezing to death is quite a nice way to go.

2.) Do you like cohabitating?
Yes. It's nice to have friends around, providing you've got a space of your own. Cohabiting with people that you don't get on with is grim, but I've never had to do that for long.
If you're talking about cohabiting with tinyjo specifically, then yes. Turns out that it's even nicer living with a friend who looks after you, cooks delicious meals for you and hugs you every night. Who knew?

3.) What kind of job, if it were just handed to you on a silver platter, would actually make you feel like doing it? Where you actually look forward to going to work?
Tricky. I imagine things like being in a band, or being a superstar DJ, or even a writer of some sort. Then I start thinking about it, and figure being in a band or DJing would take up an awful lot of evenings which I currently enjoying spending with my mates, and writing would just be a constant nag in the back of my head that I ought to be doing more of it. Sweet Eris, I'm too slack even to do my dream job.
My best answer is probably presenting a radio show where the playlist and format is mine to decide. I remember (whimsical far-away look in eyes, old git voice, chorus of sighs from all who have heard this one already) when Mark and Lard were on Radio One from 10 until midnight every week-night, and they just chatted, played music they liked, and got in bands and poets and art critics and film obsessives and Noddy Holder out of Slade reading Winnie The Pooh. I think I could do something like that with genuine enthusiasm. But who couldn't?

4.) When you were growing up, what was your image of America? (I could tell you what my image of England was... it was supposed to be like The Prisoner, Benny Hill, and Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. For some ungodly reason.)
How disappointingly sane England must have been in Real Life...
In truth, I was surprised when I visited America how accurate the images that I held (and had thought were stereotypes) were. I couldn't believe New York City, where there really is steam coming out of manholes in the middle of the street, Times Square really does look like that, and I saw a fat cop with a gun eating a doughnut on a street corner. I guess that having seen so many different versions of it depicted in various media, all the differences canceled out and left me with a fairly accurate picture. The only other place in Americaland I've been was San Francisco, which felt similarly familiar.
I guess I was surprised by how many of the people saying "Have a nice day" seemed to actually mean it. I don't know if this is a British thing or the result of having worked in the service industry myself, but I'd simply assumed that the delivery would perfectly convey the message 'I'm saying this because I'm contractually obliged to, but I couldn't bring myself to give anything even approaching a shit about you and we both know it'. Maybe it's just that people who can't fake it get fired. Or maybe I was so charming and British that they really did mean it when they said it to me, but everyone else got the hate-filled version. Also, I never did get over the urge to quickly and unobtrusively alert the authorities to the fact that people were walking round the streets with firearms. That stayed scary.

5.) Will you please give me a friggin' maildrop for you so I can send this package, eh?
Check your Yahoo address, my friend...
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