Drifting in and out of consciousness (oxfordhacker) wrote,
Drifting in and out of consciousness

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Work it, baby

Being a tiresome, but perhaps instructive discourse on the merits of perseverance.

In a way my current job is ideal for a job hunter: shit enough to act as a spur to effort, quiet enough that I have time to brush up my CV and surf job sites, and not so dispiriting or tiring as to completely crush my motivation (which I suspect suffers from osteogensis imperfecta a la 'Unbreakable' or 'Amelie'). Sometimes it feels like a constant effort to keep myself from spiraling into depression about how my working life seems to be spiraling into somewhat crappy temping jobs. By fucking up my first proper programming job at exactly the wrong time, I ensured that my nascent career rode the slumping IT market down into the doldrums. Every month I spend doing sleep-walking temp jobs I feel my value as a worker shrivel as my skills atrophy and obsolesce, and for every time I convince myself that support is a good direction for me because it plays to my strengths there is a time when I feel that's just a desperate attempt to rationalise taking the easy option and failing to make the most of even that. I've always felt that potential is for squandering, but I'm wondering if I should at least be keeping some, just in case.

That said, in the past week I've had not one, but two heartening leads:

- I have had one phone interview for a reasonably promising sounding job. It's still phone support, but more technical than my current role and with more potential. It was weird being interviewed on my mobile at my desk in my lunch-hour though, so I'm not sure how well I came across. I'm supposed to hear back about that one soon, but it was via an internet job agency, so I have no confidence that this will be the case... Perhaps I'll hassle them if I haven't heard by Thursday...

- Even better, Champion have gotten me a proper, meat-space job interview this very morning. The job is that of IT dogsbody, basically, which is exactly what I want to try to revive my skills. I'm looking for a job doing IT support because it's reactive and involves dealing with people and tech, which is very much where my strengths, such as they are, lie.
I try to plan, in your sense of the word, but that isn't my basic mode, really. I improvise. It's my greatest talent. I prefer situations to plans. - Wintermute the AI in 'Neuromancer' by William Gibson.

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