Drifting in and out of consciousness (oxfordhacker) wrote,
Drifting in and out of consciousness

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Another Game-style Activity

When I started my journal (holy fuck, that was over a decade ago) I was living with iruineverything and archie. I've written before about the ways in which we would pass the time despite lacking energy, money and happiness, by utilising the one resource we had in spades: lack of respect for ourselves or each other. That may not sound like a resource per se, but it was the thing that made it so easy to keep ourselves occupied. Today's game shares common elements with the ones I've mentioned previously: it's simple, it's pervasive, it's not really intended to do anything except make communication more difficult, and playing it can blight your life (slightly, but noticeably) forever. You have been warned.

Not The Band

You will need: One or more players; little regard for yourself or others.
Rules: Whenever you use the phrase "you too" or "you two", immediately disambiguate your usage by appending "(Not the band)", as if you spend so much time talking about U2 that it's a source of constant confusion. That's all. It's a sort of combination of weak joke and nervous tic, and becomes second nature surprisingly quickly.
Advanced game: Once you've established your habit of painstaking disambiguation, you can start looking confused when anyone else uses the phrase and doesn't clarify their meaning. Interrupt them, just to check that you've got things straight. They'll be puzzled at first, then annoyed (and, be warned, that is where they will remain). However, you can stop after the first few times and they'll still know that you're thinking it, at which point they're playing too, like it or not (not, obviously).
Scoring: As with all our games, it's played for its own sake. The idea is for this to become a life-ruining habit like The Game (which I just lost) rather than something you play for points. Still, I'll include some arbitrary scoring rules to give you an idea of how it's supposed to work.
  • Lose a point every time you say "you too" without clarifying.
  • Gain a point each time someone else makes this clarification to you.
  • Gain an extra point if they do so unprompted.
  • Gain 10 points if someone else starts playing, whether deliberately or out of habit.
End: It has no end. Like The Game, you may forget about it for a while, but then someone will say "I love you too" and inside you'll think "[S]he's always going on about that bloody band". And if they know this game as well, they'll know you're thinking something like that, and the moment will be ruined.
Winning: No-one wins.
Tags: games
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