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  • Mon, 13:58: RT @JamieJBartlett: Kids! Bad school report? Tell your parents it's #fakenews from a self-interested teaching elite that live in a educatio…
  • Mon, 15:01: RT @therealeatwood: HIM: I’m sorry I said you try to sound like a librarian ME: This apology is long overdue
  • Mon, 15:03: RT @chimneyspotter: GOOD COP: Give us a name! PERP: Never! TED TALK COP: Imagine a world where every single human has- PERP: Okay I'll talk…
  • Mon, 19:55: RT @EmergencyPuppy: Chins up, claws out. https://t.co/fMQqc9Mxwm
  • Mon, 20:13: RT @stevevsninjas: Messenger: I come bearing a gift from the royal armorer. Now you must reproduce it and send it to 5 friends. Serf: Ugh…
  • Mon, 20:29: RT @astridoverthere: THE BEST THING FROM THIS ARTICLE: THE TRUMP PLAGIARISM CAKE WAS MADE OF STYROFOAM. Y'ALL THE CAKE WAS AN ACTUAL LIE.…
  • Mon, 20:35: RT @malki: Let's just take a sec to imagine the set of marketing meetings that led to this being conceived, designed, tweeted and paid to b…
  • Mon, 20:39: RT @FrogCroakley: 745) Moulin Luge: burlesque winter sports; after their club shuts down, a troupe of corsetted entertainers sets out for t…
  • Mon, 22:34: RT @JosephScrimshaw: The Trump Administration: "The President's fan fiction version of reality deserves respect and should be included in c…
  • Tue, 09:09: RT @NBCNightlyNews: WATCH: The @OregonZoo was closed to the public today due to heavy snow -- but the zoo's residents had a blast. https://…
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  • Fri, 15:56: RT @slatestarcodex: "I'm fascinated by Oberon, Lord of the Fairies," Tom said, faking interest.
  • Fri, 15:59: "If I shout into this fire, it flares up", Tom bellowed.
  • Sat, 11:23: RT @jonathan_michie: At last, the UK Government sets out their Brexit plan in terms we can all understand https://t.co/aeEw4JLXid
  • Sat, 11:26: RT @katefeetie: The most reliable prompt to get a good story from every woman in a room is "ever worked with a guy who just fucking yelled…
  • Sat, 11:27: RT @TwopTwips: RUIN any porn film by closing your eyes and imagining it’s a documentary about asthma. (via @RichardWiseman)
  • Sat, 11:29: RT @d_duhwit: My buddy tried to tell me he got a job in a movie as one of the arms of a giant octopus, but I don't think he's being forthri…

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  • Sat, 14:53: RT @PhilLucas: If things that happened in episodes of King Rollo happened to the real Royal Family. https://t.co/3uOHLLglFP
  • Sat, 15:06: RT @TwopTwips: CONVINCE people you have an English Literature degree by highlighting arbitrary words in a few of your old books. (via @spoo
  • Sat, 15:07: RT @HansGrubertron: INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in five years? ME: Probably my communication skills.
  • Sat, 15:25: RT @jonnysun: BEYONCE: ♫ say my name say my name ♫ STARBUCKS BARISTA: bromley
  • Sat, 15:27: RT @PatchfaceTF: WAKE UP SHEEPLE - Doctor Moureau in the morning
  • Sat, 15:33: RT @panmidwest: ME: I like her but she likes this other guy… BUDDY: Love triangle ME: Pyramid actually. THAT guy likes two OTHER girls who…
  • Sat, 15:49: RT @panmidwest: I don't understand how a cat just sits there. No smartphone. No Netflix. No crippling social anxiety. No pets. It just sits…
  • Sat, 17:15: Shout out to the guy buying Warren Ellis, Charles Stross, & 'Programming in Objective-C'. You must make prediction algorithms very happy…
  • Sat, 17:41: 'The excitement begins on the first page', eh? I'll be the judge of that :) … Oh. Wow. That is *not at all* the exc… https://t.co/5L2EHFHq2C
  • Sat, 19:59: RT @PhilipNByrne: This sexist accidentally made feminism sound way more amazing. https://t.co/cPNnn6I8sD
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  • Thu, 08:42: RT @ieatanddrink: I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stu…
  • Thu, 08:47: RT @studiesincrap: Movie where killing is ugly and miserable: Rate it R, keep kids away! Movie where killing is great bloodless fun: PG13,…
  • Thu, 09:23: RT @thedailymash: Cereal boxes to run ‘Brexit means…’ competition https://t.co/RFCZRMXFGl https://t.co/N7U38RHyTd
  • Thu, 09:42: RT @adjaruli: If you're on a new year's detox diet why not read about the time we all ate so much pork scratching we went wrong https://t.c…
  • Thu, 09:44: RT @FrogCroakley: 547) Morris Island: survival horror set on a tropical island resort that gets overrun with morris dancers who infect anyo…
  • Thu, 09:50: RT @MemberOfSpecies: Trying easy but worthless things to be seen as succeeding. Trying to try medium difficulty but medium value things to…
  • Thu, 09:51: RT @paullicino: 69) Perhaps the simplest acting tip I ever received was a reminder that people are mostly trying to hide, not to show how t…
  • Thu, 10:01: RT @FelicityMorse: This is v immature but I love the way you can play peekaboo on BBC app.Been doing it with Tim Barrow and quietly laughin…

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  • Mon, 12:00: RT @forexposure_txt: unpaid but if you're good lots of work
  • Mon, 12:04: RT @thenatewolf: American Detective: I solved the case by breaking all the rules British Detective: I solved the case by noticing a speci…
  • Mon, 12:07: RT @Pundamentalism: They tried to stop me making aquatic mammal pies, but now the choux is on the otter foot.
  • Mon, 12:10: RT @panmidwest: THERAPIST: so what's wrong? WIFE: he doesn't understand joke formats ME: not true! WIFE: then what's HE doing here?! BA…
  • Mon, 12:11: RT @CraigLeeHenry: @TwopTwips Avoid expensive engraving charges by naming your dog 'Sample'. https://t.co/2o5EqIvuj6
  • Mon, 12:11: RT @fro_vo: [ted talk] did you know that "urinated" is short for "ur in a ted talk" haha just a little urology humor but seriously let's ta…
  • Mon, 12:13: RT @MrEmilyHeller: trying to explain the patriarchy to men feels like telling someone who has never heard of bones that there's a skeleton…
  • Mon, 12:15: RT @jonnysun: com to OLIVE GARDEN we use to hav unlimited breadsticks but then a unlimited duck came & now we hav no breadsticks just a ver…
  • Mon, 12:16: RT @ZachWeiner: Were you faithful and kind to me your entire life because you’re a good person, or was that just social signalling?
  • Mon, 12:25: RT @mattsurely: "Have you tried drinking more water and getting more sleep?" is the "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" of the me…
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  • Mon, 20:11: RT @jordan_stratton: Sometimes cats are sweet. Other times, they absorb the power of a ritual stone so they can finally overthrow and destr…
  • Mon, 20:14: RT @sockington: IF YOU ARE COLD THEY ARE COLD let them inside BY THEM I MEAN TUNA TRUCKS
  • Mon, 20:15: RT @KameronHurley: "as humans we're wired to be dissatisfied." No. That's marketing. It's a science developed to make you want things you…
  • Mon, 20:16: RT @computerfact: when all you have is computers everything looks like data
  • Mon, 20:41: RT @FrogCroakley: 422) Mentally Healthy Taxi: less ableist take on the arcade hit. Pick up passengers while maintaining level breathing & g…
  • Mon, 21:04: RT @leonardpierce: CHICAGO FACTS 1. Chicago is cold This has been CHICAGO FACTS
  • Mon, 21:08: RT @TheStrangeLog: Handsome and lustful men now also populate the cabins in the wild for the pleasures of people who find them attractive
  • Mon, 21:09: RT @existentialcoms: Real work ethics is leaving after eight hours, to help combat a culture of workers staying late to work for free.
  • Mon, 21:25: RT @lukesurl: Brexit will make me personally remain https://t.co/BYxbKBD7Cu
  • Mon, 21:25: RT @Manglewood: If a website needed to hide critical information from me all they would have to do is put it on the second page of a slides…
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  • Sat, 15:29: RT @rxysurfchic: i enjoy video games because they let me live out my wildest fantasies, like being assigned a task and then completing that…
  • Sat, 15:30: RT @tinyjo: Hackers successfully arrived at reserve: 2/2. Suitcases ditto: 1/2. Wildlife seen so far: monkeys, birds, antelope, misc insect…

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Cute overload
oxfordhacker
Drifting in and out of consciousness

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