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To: [adminstrators of a pension scheme I paid into for a few months 9 years ago]

Reference no: [redacted]

Good afternoon,

I've just received my statement of benefits for this scheme, which
estimates that by 2042 I can expect a pension of £20.00 a year. Granted,
if all goes to plan, by 2042 I'll be living in space within a brand-new
robot body, but that kind of money won't even cover the cost of having the
micro-meteorite dents buffed out of my shiny metal chest-plate.

I would therefore like to close this account, either by transferring it to
my current pension (I am with [current pension scheme], if
this is meaningful and relevant) or by simply withdrawing the money. I
would be grateful if you would let me know what options are open to me.

Thanks,
oxfordhacker

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
vinaigrettegirl
Mar. 20th, 2009 12:43 pm (UTC)
You will find that transferring to a new pension scheme will get you your total nestegg, including your employer's contribution, in full. Claiming the actual dosh loses your employer's contribution and gives you your own money back to do with as you will, letting the government keep the remainder to help fund part of a banker's pension instead. Your call.
applez
Mar. 20th, 2009 02:01 pm (UTC)
Mixing whimsy?
Nah, just indicates that you have class. :-)
monkeyhands
Mar. 23rd, 2009 10:26 am (UTC)
I've tried mixing genuine complaints and whimsy on many occasions (writing queries to tech support in verse, etc, etc). I find that the best you can ever hope for is that the person you're writing to will ignore the whimsy bit and get to your main point. But blank incomprehension of your whole letter is more likely. This incomprehension may result in your letter being ignored completely rather than in a request for clarification, although including a reference number makes it much more likely that you'll get at least some response.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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oxfordhacker
Drifting in and out of consciousness

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