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  • Sun, 19:11: RT @ZachWeiner: Age 0-1: Won't listen because can't do language Age 1-2: Won't listen because can't focus Age 2-3: Won't listen because doe…
  • Sun, 19:58: RT @caityweaver: What a beautiful day for everyone to buy 100 copies of the New York Times and read a grown ass woman's doll opinions https…
  • Sun, 20:23: RT @fidus: "A developed country is not a place where the poor have cars. It's where the rich use public transportation." the ex mayor of Bo…
  • Mon, 07:25: RT @NamestartswithZ: PHILOSOPHER: Truth is elusive PHILOSOPHER'S BOSS: Save the excuses, just have those answers to life's existential ques…

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  • Mon, 13:58: RT @JamieJBartlett: Kids! Bad school report? Tell your parents it's #fakenews from a self-interested teaching elite that live in a educatio…
  • Mon, 15:01: RT @therealeatwood: HIM: I’m sorry I said you try to sound like a librarian ME: This apology is long overdue
  • Mon, 15:03: RT @chimneyspotter: GOOD COP: Give us a name! PERP: Never! TED TALK COP: Imagine a world where every single human has- PERP: Okay I'll talk…
  • Mon, 19:55: RT @EmergencyPuppy: Chins up, claws out. https://t.co/fMQqc9Mxwm
  • Mon, 20:13: RT @stevevsninjas: Messenger: I come bearing a gift from the royal armorer. Now you must reproduce it and send it to 5 friends. Serf: Ugh…
  • Mon, 20:29: RT @astridoverthere: THE BEST THING FROM THIS ARTICLE: THE TRUMP PLAGIARISM CAKE WAS MADE OF STYROFOAM. Y'ALL THE CAKE WAS AN ACTUAL LIE.…
  • Mon, 20:35: RT @malki: Let's just take a sec to imagine the set of marketing meetings that led to this being conceived, designed, tweeted and paid to b…
  • Mon, 20:39: RT @FrogCroakley: 745) Moulin Luge: burlesque winter sports; after their club shuts down, a troupe of corsetted entertainers sets out for t…
  • Mon, 22:34: RT @JosephScrimshaw: The Trump Administration: "The President's fan fiction version of reality deserves respect and should be included in c…
  • Tue, 09:09: RT @NBCNightlyNews: WATCH: The @OregonZoo was closed to the public today due to heavy snow -- but the zoo's residents had a blast. https://…
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  • Fri, 15:56: RT @slatestarcodex: "I'm fascinated by Oberon, Lord of the Fairies," Tom said, faking interest.
  • Fri, 15:59: "If I shout into this fire, it flares up", Tom bellowed.
  • Sat, 11:23: RT @jonathan_michie: At last, the UK Government sets out their Brexit plan in terms we can all understand https://t.co/aeEw4JLXid
  • Sat, 11:26: RT @katefeetie: The most reliable prompt to get a good story from every woman in a room is "ever worked with a guy who just fucking yelled…
  • Sat, 11:27: RT @TwopTwips: RUIN any porn film by closing your eyes and imagining it’s a documentary about asthma. (via @RichardWiseman)
  • Sat, 11:29: RT @d_duhwit: My buddy tried to tell me he got a job in a movie as one of the arms of a giant octopus, but I don't think he's being forthri…

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  • Sat, 14:53: RT @PhilLucas: If things that happened in episodes of King Rollo happened to the real Royal Family. https://t.co/3uOHLLglFP
  • Sat, 15:06: RT @TwopTwips: CONVINCE people you have an English Literature degree by highlighting arbitrary words in a few of your old books. (via @spoo
  • Sat, 15:07: RT @HansGrubertron: INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in five years? ME: Probably my communication skills.
  • Sat, 15:25: RT @jonnysun: BEYONCE: ♫ say my name say my name ♫ STARBUCKS BARISTA: bromley
  • Sat, 15:27: RT @PatchfaceTF: WAKE UP SHEEPLE - Doctor Moureau in the morning
  • Sat, 15:33: RT @panmidwest: ME: I like her but she likes this other guy… BUDDY: Love triangle ME: Pyramid actually. THAT guy likes two OTHER girls who…
  • Sat, 15:49: RT @panmidwest: I don't understand how a cat just sits there. No smartphone. No Netflix. No crippling social anxiety. No pets. It just sits…
  • Sat, 17:15: Shout out to the guy buying Warren Ellis, Charles Stross, & 'Programming in Objective-C'. You must make prediction algorithms very happy…
  • Sat, 17:41: 'The excitement begins on the first page', eh? I'll be the judge of that :) … Oh. Wow. That is *not at all* the exc… https://t.co/5L2EHFHq2C
  • Sat, 19:59: RT @PhilipNByrne: This sexist accidentally made feminism sound way more amazing. https://t.co/cPNnn6I8sD
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oxfordhacker
Drifting in and out of consciousness

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